Pub 41, Day 15 – The Howard

By Rob

Strolling down Howard Street – one of Sheffield's more visually appealing and smartly constructed pedestrianised thoroughfares – we arrived at The Howard Hotel.

Anyone who has ever made use of the train station, or strolled by it, will have noticed the pub. Its large, striking, half-timber Tudor exterior is very much a part of Sheaf Square's immediate landscape. And yet, despite its semi-iconic status as a piece of local architecture, I had never been inside.

Setting right this inexcusable travesty, we headed indoors.

Now, the old English idiom that Andy and I continually find ourselves repeating – "never judge a book by its cover" – has served us well. Every now and then we come across a pub that, based on its outward appearance, we think will be a rough 'un. As previous instalments have demonstrated, our initial assumptions are often wrong.

Once again, the time-honoured metaphorical phrase proved itself apt. However, instead of being pleasantly surprised, this time we were disappointed.

Looking at The Howard's handsome Tudor facade, I couldn't help but expect an interior that was just as aesthetically impressive. Unfortunately, the cosy taproom with its thick wooden roof beams and crackling log fire was nowhere to be seen. Instead, we walked into a large, open-plan establishment that was decidedly average in its presentation.

Of course, I should point out that there was nothing at all wrong with the pub. It was spacious, reasonably modern and it had a pool table. The only issue was that in the case of this particular book, the contents didn't reflect the cover.

The Howard pub, centre-right. (Photo from Google Maps, contributor: Alasdair Denton)

Approaching the bar, we eyed the reasonably decent range of ales and opted for a pint of Ruby Liquorice Smoked Beer. Upon hearing this, the woman behind the bar laughed at us. If that reaction wasn't enough to make us dubious about our selection, a second member of staff came over and asked us if we like smoky bacon crisps. However, the fact is that we do like smoky bacon crisps. This, the helpful barman went on to suggest, meant that we should find the ale to our liking.

Naturally, the three of us gravitated towards the pool table and Izzy watched on in delight as Andy and I won a match each. She also watched on in delight as the two of us struggled to slowly make our way through the pints we had bought.

The notion that our positive disposition towards smoky bacon crisps would somehow translate into an appreciation of the beer turned out to be woefully inaccurate. I do like smoky bacon crisps and, when I'm buying actual bacon, I always opt for the smoked variety. I like smoked sausages and I'm also partial to certain smoked cheeses. I'm no great lover of fish, but I think smoked salmon is at least palatable. I can’t even be accused of being prejudiced against smoked beverages, because I quite enjoy a cup of the smoked lapsang souchong tea. But despite this wide range of consumables, the fact remains that some things just ought not to be smoked, and beer is one of them.

We later discovered that this particular beverage is part of the Marston's Brewery 'Revisionist' range, which aims to provide people with "something a little different" by allowing the brewers to "ignore the rule book".^[1] While we all might like to go a little crazy sometimes, I think this proves that in most circumstances, the rulebook is there for a reason.
  

Halfway through our visit and we were joined by my girlfriend, Hannah. Ever the supportive ray of sunshine (if at any point you think I'm being too soppy then please put yourself in my shoes and understand that she will, at some point, read this) she had come to join us on the evening’s journey.

As we neared the bottom of our glasses, Andy had started to warm to the smoked beer. By the time he reached the final few drops, he had come to appreciate its unique flavour and distinctive aroma. Meanwhile, I was still retching my way through the last mouthfuls of what tasted like the pungent run-off from a swilled-out ashtray.

Eventually the drinks were put away and the four of us left. While the innards had failed to live up to the standard set by the exterior, and I had found my pint almost offensive due to the savagery it inflicted upon my tongue, The Howard Hotel is actually a perfectly pleasant pub that is worth a visit if you're hovering around the train station and find yourself stricken with a thirst.

Howard Pool Score: Andy 1-1 Rob

Pubquest Pool Score: Andy 34-24 Rob

Pub: The Howard (57 Howard Street, S1 2LW)

Rating: 6/10

Pint: Ruby Liquorice Smoked Beer

Brewery: Marston's Brewery (Wolverhampton)

NEXT UP: Righting a few wrongs, at The Penny Black... 

References:
[1] http://www.revisionistbeers.co.uk